The Letter
by chillthebeans
Summary: Set in New Moon. Edward doesn't come back. Bella finds a letter explaining everything. What happens when Victoria shows up? 2nd in the public vote for the Every Picture Tells A Story Super Challenge.


**Every Picture Tells A Story Super Challenge**

**Prompt #: 38**(to view all prompts please go to: : / / contestsandchallenges . random-fandom ?page_id=7 you will need to remove the spaces from the link)

**Fandom: Twilight**

**Title: The Letter**

**Characters: Bella, Edward**

**Disclaimer: All publically recognised characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Summary: Set in New Moon. Edward doesn't come back. Bella finds a letter from Edward that explains everything. What happens when Victoria shows up?**

It has been said that when people die, their body wastes away and their soul goes on to whatever afterlife they believe there is.

I wonder if that is what happened to me.

I am alive; but also dead. I died the very day that _he_ left me in the woods. My body is still functioning, but it feels as if my soul has moved on. Every day, in perfect increments, I was dying of loss.

The ache, the absence of _him_ shook me time and time again. Everywhere I looked, everything reminded me of _him_. Black gel pens, the piano and baseball are just a few of the things that made me cringe. Thank goodness no one else in Forks drove a Volvo.

I would often sit down on First Beach in the mornings. The sky was always overcast and it was freezing cold. In some strange way, I found that comforting. It felt like _he_ was touching me.

My grief was just muffled, not eased, by the passage of time.

My heart has been abused, battered, scarred and wounded, but it was still there. It was still beating. And for that I was thankful.

I wasn't thankful for being alive. I couldn't live without _him_. I was thankful that through all the suffering, my heart stayed strong. It stayed constant.

People change all the time, for no good reason. They love you, then they hurt you, then they leave you. But my heart was the same all the time. And I liked that. It was nice having something constant to hold on to.

I had thought about ending my life once. I was actually sitting on the toilet seat in the bathroom with a pair of scissors hovering over my radial artery in my wrist. I might have pressed down if Charlie hadn't walked in. I could've sworn he almost fainted with panic.

From that day forth, Charlie kept his gun secured in a safe in his bedroom, the medicine cabinet was locked away, the razors were removed from the bathroom and he even took away the scissors that I used to use for crafting.

My life became a harmless little bubble.

I had promised _him_ that I wouldn't do anything stupid or reckless. And I didn't. I didn't try to kill myself for my sake; I did it for Charlie's. I was vacant and it was destroying him. He blamed himself. So I tried to help him.

I couldn't explain it to Charlie though. I couldn't, even if I knew how to. I acted like a mute. I didn't know why, it was just that every time I tried to speak, agony consumed my body. So I stayed silent.

_His_ name was the last thing that I had said.

I had been bedridden for three months. I refused to talk, eat or drink, like some kind of masochist.

My mother visited occasionally. Every time she came she would just say, "Bella, Edward is gone. There is nothing you can do. Only a few circles in the water prove that he was ever here. When they're gone, he's forgotten, without a trace, as if he'd never even existed. And that's all."She obviously stole that line from a book. How unoriginal.

_It will be as if I never existed..._

I had continuous nightmares. I never screamed. Not one sound escaped my lips, even in unconsciousness. They were all to do with _him_. Every night, the same memory ran around my head.

"_You don't...want me?"_

"_No."_

Charlie kept threatening to put me in the hospital if I didn't improve. I just ignored him. In a last desperate bid to get me to speak, he made me steak and potatoes for dinner. He knew it was my least favourite meal.

The steak was already cut for me; he didn't trust me with a knife. It was very pink. He still couldn't cook, but he had forbidden me to. My stomach rolled in protest but I shovelled down several bites.

_There is no blood. Don't taste it, just swallow._

The potatoes were dry but I could manage to eat them without the risk of emptying my stomach over the table.

After I had finished, Charlie looked at me sadly.

He said, after a few moments, "Bella, please talk to me. It's killing me to see you like this."

He looked so weak and defeated. It was killing _me_ to see him like that.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth slowly and tried to speak. Not a sound escaped my lips.

"Bella," he sighed before continuing," I'm sorry, but you need help. Professional help. Just say one word. That's all I'm asking."

"Ed...Ed...ed...ward," I whispered, my voice barely carrying to my own ears from months of disuse.

He smiled before frowning again. It was clear that he'd wanted me to say any word but that.

He smiled at me sadly again before leaving the room.

I cleared the table and headed up to bed.

The gaping hole in my chest always seemed to get bigger at night. I think it was because I was alone.

The pain slammed me again and again as I lay motionless on my bed, staring at the white ceiling. The waves tossed me against the sharp rocks then pulled me back so they could launch me at the jagged face of the cliff again.

My dreams that night were haunted by deep golden eyes.

The next day, the pain got even worse. I could barely get out of bed. So I just lay in bed all day. Alone.

I drifted in and out of consciousness, reliving the same memory time and time again.

"_You don't...want me?"_

"_No."_

What frightened me most was that there was no doubt in _his_ voice, not a hint of uncertainty in _his_ words. _He_ just said a plain and simple "no".

The next day, Charlie insisted that I go back to school.

School was horrible. I was surrounded by people, some I didn't even know. Everyone wanted to sit beside me at lunch, walk me to Spanish, be my partner in Gym and hold doors open for me. I was treated like royalty. Part of me wondered if they had been ordered by their parents to be nice. I sincerely hope not. The last thing I needed was sympathy.

I was lonely, but not alone. I was lonely in some horribly deep way. And it scared me to be that lonely because it seemed claustrophobic.

After a couple of weeks, the surprise of my return had died down, although I still had a steady stream of loyal followers.

My life became almost semi-normal. That was, until, I found the letter.

It was enclosed in an envelope made of very thick paper and was sealed with a red wax stamp. It looked very expensive. It was addressed to me.

The letter itself was charred, burnt and ripped into pieces. I had to stick it back together with tape.

Part of the letter had burnt away completely, leaving only my address and not the person who wrote it's.

It read:

_-should warn you that this letter will not be eloquent. However, it will be sincere, despite the fact that I will burn this before you read it. I have felt these words like a weight in my chest and this letter will hopefully lighten the burden._

_I love you. I love you desperately, violently, tenderly and completely. I know what I said in the woods. The truth is: I lied. I lied for you. You do not belong with a man like me, if you could call me a man._

_You know my deepest darkest secrets. I have led a life of immoderate sin. As it turns out, I am just as immoderate in love._

_I want to kiss you and make you blush and faint._

_I want to talk with you forever. I remember every word that you've ever spoken to me. I wish that I could be with you forever, but I am too selfish and that is why I left.I was torn between wanting you back and wanting the best for you—wanting you to be happy._

_I want to marry you, my dearest Bella._

_You make me laugh. You make me happy. You make me feel alive. I give you my heart. I promise always to love you. I promise always to cherish you.__You have taught me what it is to truly love something more than my own self._

_When we first met, the thought of us together was crazy and impossible. I tried to hide my feelings and did successfully yet painfully. We became closer over time and my feelings only strengthened. Then one ordinary day turned extraordinary when you confessed you had feelings for me. I told you how I felt and then you kissed me. I knew it was wrong but it felt so... right. You made me feel like everything was going to be all right. I couldn't believe that someone as beautiful and wonderful as you would love me back. I still can't._

_I wish I could transform myself into a normal man and be there for you, always, without the trauma that defines my life as "the walking dead."_

_You probably hate me now and that is understandable. I just hope that you have moved on and found love in another man who can love you the way you deserve to be loved._

_I love you Bella. Please, do not ever forget that._

_Edward._

At first, I was suspicious. Why on earth would Edward leave if he meant all of that? Then, it made sense. It was just like him to do that kind of thing.

I had often imagined how he was doing. The selfish part of me hoped that he was alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness, so I would not be the only one affected by his actions.

The other part of me hoped he was alright. I didn't want for him to spend the rest of eternity alone.

One night, I was sitting in my bedroom reading Wuthering Heights again, when Victoria jumped through my bedroom window.

I had convinced Charlie to go and spend a couple of days at La Push with Billy, but I really wished I hadn't.

My heart beat increased and I'm sure she could hear it.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" she said, smiling.

I closed my eyes. "Just do it, Victoria. Edward isn't coming back."

When she didn't respond, I slowly opened one eye to find her regarding me intently, her fiery red hair a mess on her head.

"What?" I asked. I was confused. I thought she came here to kill me.

"Edward has left?"

"Yes," I answered.

She shrugged and grabbed my throat, cutting of my breath. I clawed at her marble hands, trying to free myself from her vice-like grip.

"Victoria!" I pleaded, gasping.

She released me and dropped me onto my bed. I heaved violently onto the floor.

When I was finished, I turned around to face her.

"Edward killed James and destroyed my heart. He has hurt us both. Please, don't kill me, for my dad's sake. You have nothing to gain anyway," I said.

She chuckled darkly. "I see."

She sat down beside me and held my hand.

"Would you be interested in joining a coven with me? I could change you and we could go after Edward ourselves. I've been so lonely since James died and Laurent left. Please?" she asked.

Because I knew what it was like to be lonely, I said, "Sure."

She leaned in close and brushed my hair away from my neck. "This might hurt."

"I don't care."

Swiftly, she bit into my skin and clamped her hand down on my mouth so I couldn't scream.

"Shush. I'm not too sure I believe you, so when Edward comes back he will find that his beloved Bella has been turned into one of the eternally damned," she said, her voice soft and lilting.

I gulped.

She gracefully ran and jumped out of the window, leaving me in agony on my bed.

I rolled onto my side. My body was on fire. It pulsed through my veins, leaving behind a scorching trail to remind me of where it had been. It felt like a million flaming daggers were being stabbed into every part of my body. A thin sheen of sweat covered my forehead and my head was pounding.

"H-help," I croaked, my desperate tone made my words almost inaudible.

For three long days, my body burned on in a never-ending flame. At the end of the third day, I was a vampire.

Everything was so bright and clear. It took me a while to get used to it.

I still haven't seen Edward; nor do I plan to. I thought that it was best not to interfere with his existence.

Sadness doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, breath for breath. I will never stop grieving Edward because I will never stop loving him. That's just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined; you don't get one without the other.

**Epilogue**

I was sitting in our special meadow when I saw him again. His family were up ahead, chasing a pack of mountain lions. He was slowly walking after a limping elk with an angry expression on his face.

His bronze hair seemed as though it had not been brushed in over two years, but it had always looked like that.

He turned and saw me. The gold eyes that had been narrowed with aggravation suddenly went wide with...what? Amazement? Awe? Or perhaps that stunned feeling I kept having when I saw him?

"Bella..." he breathed. "It's you."

I walked over to him and wrapped hi in my arms. We rocked side to side for a moment, dancing to some silent rhythm.

I gazed up at him.

"I got your letter," I said.

* * *

**Yeah. I wrote this ages ago and only recently remembered I had written it. **

**If you have any questions, PM me. I don't plan on writing a sequel, but who knows?**


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